Thursday, November 17, 2011

to be in love with another human is to mutually define the human condition of what it means to be in love. this agreement is the essence of love, but could that ever really be attained? 

Exchanging this phrase is a means of self-assurance and it could probably be translated and better-depicted using other means. The symbolism and the understanding of love is not the same conferred for all who practice it.

the weight of this word is unmeasurable really, it's a game of semantics.  It can be rooted in deception-- perhaps its most privileged to be used as such.

In my short time, I've fell victim to said deceit. My motives, my perception and my preferences regarding this game for fools will never be amassed, nor calculated in the same way. 

I can now see myself as though an outsider may. I reflect my insides, finding that although I've been as true to myself and the world around me, honesty too, is a keystone in this game. It is a theory which is pliable and malleable; abstract but custom-fit for each unique participant.

With only the control of my physical body, I move forwards with dark blinders around all sides of my mind's eye. 

This emptiness. This harm. This loss of meaning. I'll never forget how this feels and I'll never let anyone in that deep again.

I lost myself, I gave too much of myself away.

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